Nothing good has ever come from Carlton trying to predict and guarantee the future.
The club's past business plans, such as 'Can You Smell What We're Cooking?', 'The Carlton Way' and 'The Blue Print' all promised premierships but delivered coach sackings.
The above strategies were cooked up by some highly paid media and PR gurus and ticked off by the impressed board. It looked imposing on paper, but what did it deliver? Nothing, not a single finals win.
That's why I was sure such strategies would cease, not only at the Blues but for all the disappointed clubs that have failed to deliver on their similar versions designed to copy Brendan Gale's famous declaration on Footy Classified.
I was wrong.
Carlton has been sucked in, again.
Speaking at a sponsors announcement last Friday, CEO Brian Cook guaranteed a premiership in the next five years.
"In our business plan, we've indicated we'll win at least one men's and women's premiership ... in the next five years," Cook said.
"The real issue for us is to keep improving every year, that's the important thing both on and off the field.
"I'm not sure exactly what that means, apart from I think last year I said the aim was to win more games than we'd lose and in the last 10 years that would have got us in the eight, but it didn't get us in the eight.
"We'll improve on last year, that's our aim, where that ends up from a ladder point of view, who knows?"
The promise comes just one year after president Luke Sayers declared: "Our expectation, based on the list that we have, we are looking to make finals in 2022."
The nine-year finals drought continues...
Even the best and most vastly experienced football figures like Cook can get sucked into the distorted pre-season hype.
As we discussed last week, when new Collingwood CEO Craig Kelly impressively refused to make any bold premiership predictions, there is nothing to gain.
Kelly could've easily been sucked into the Collingwood hype and promised the world, but he was too bright.
“I'm not going to sit there saying we’re going to win flags and stuff, we’re just going to do a good job,” Kelly said on SEN Breakfast.
“Hopefully the supporters are proud of what the club delivers to them, and the fun they have turning up to the footy and screaming, yelling and feeling like it’s their club.
“That’s what’s really important and exciting.”
It's obvious Carlton plans to win a premiership in the next five years. Every club, excluding North Melbourne and Hawthorn, would.
It didn't need another marketing slogan or premiership guarantee from the CEO or President to sell memberships; the 2023 hype meter couldn't be higher.
I hope this empty promise does not result in as much ridicule as the previous three.
I thought they would have learnt from past lessons, but the ghosts of Brendan Gales Richmond's plan live on.