Whateley: Essendon's "misery tax" for Merrett could be so awkward

And the game’s most fascinating relationship remains Essendon and Zach Merrett.

Cal Twomey reports the Bombers have put a multi-year contract extension in front of the former captain.

It’s the for-as-long-as-we-both-shall-live contract.

Having held the runaway bride to the current union...the Bombers are trying to curb his wandering eye once and for all.

And this is the idea of the misery tax we floated back in September.

It rather memorably gave Nathan Buckley the ick.

The concept for Essendon was 'we need you, we want you, we love you, we’re not releasing you and we will richly compensate you for the challenge of the next two seasons when we won’t see finals'.

And beyond that a two-year extension to end the annual doubting session.

Lock in for life and see this mission through.

Merrett might end up being Garry Wilson or Robbie Flower...so I’m paying him the misery tax to reward the loyalty.

If he can’t be happy then at least he can be rich, and that would appear to be what Essendon has done.

So does Merrett bury the ick and accept his fate?

Or does he hold out and make a break for freedom again at season’s end?

The fact this becomes public after one dismal performance that raised questions whether Essendon can hope to be successful in the course of Merrett’s remaining days...well that makes it all the more intriguing.

Essendon can’t see itself without Zach Merrett, but can we know Merrett could see himself without Essendon?

Do you accept this club for better or for worse or for even worse for as long as you both shall live?

Try answering that after Round 1 of a long season.

If Merrett signs they’ll throw a second wedding for the renewal of vows.

If he doesn’t...it’s awkward...really awkward.

Think he says I love you; she doesn’t say it back.

Footy’s most fascinating relationship.