"Been fighting a war": Evans reveals battle with sexuality and addiction

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Former NRL player Kane Evans has opened up on his battle with his sexuality alongside his alcohol and drug addiction in a powerful interview, becoming the second male NRL player to come out publicly as gay after Ian Roberts in 1995.

The front rower who played 131 NRL games for Sydney, Parramatta and the Warriors revealed he had struggled with his sexual identity since the age of 15, resulting in suicidal thoughts.

“I had three goals in life,” Evans told James Bracey on Channel 9’s 100% Footy.

“It was to play NRL, to buy my parents a house and then I was going to top myself.

“Because I was living in denial. From a young age, I know...that I’m gay.

“But I went down every other avenue to build up these walls to escape who I am.”  

Those avenues included drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism, with that use spiralling after the closure of his café Bestic Espresso.

“I was going down a slippery spiral,” he said.

“I started numbing myself with alcohol and drugs.

“Looking back now, I realise that there were deeper things I was masking and I was using every outlet I could up until the point where I was couch surfing and became homeless.”

After revealing his struggles with his sexuality, the Fijian representative admitted the thought of coming out was a ‘nightmare’, having faced threats of blackmail previously.

However, he noted that it was important to tell his story in the hopes that it might save lives.

“This is definitely like my worst nightmare,” Evans explained.

“But I know if I surrender, it’s the start to a new life.

“I’ve been fighting a war within since I was about 15 years old, and it’s not sustainable.

“I was sleeping in parks, doing drugs, trying to ultimately pass so I didn’t have to come to this.”

“But I know that there’s people that are struggling with the same struggle that I’ve gone through.

“I’m very blessed that I can come here and talk to you (Bracey) and be able to save a life or two.”

Now, the 34-year-old is 135 days sober as of the interview, having received the help of his former coach at the Roosters, Trent Robinson and Joe Galuvao, who currently works as a Transition Manager with the RLPA’s past players and transition program during his struggles.

"I've got a little team that has helped me the most," he elaborated.

“I was fortunate enough to have Joe come visit me a few times for some conversations when I was in the parks.

“We would organise to meet at a café, and Joe would come out and buy me coffee, and Joe said, ‘Do you know that you deserve to live a good life?...you deserve healing'.

“When he said that, that’s when I started questioning, maybe death isn’t in the plan for me yet, maybe I do deserve to go and get help.

“I thank God that he came and visited me and got me into rehab with the help of the RLPA. Somehow Robbo (Trent Robinson) got my number.

“He called me just to let me know that the Roosters are still my home and they’ve got my back, whatever I’m facing.

“That meant the world to me. He took me, my best friend, and one of my mentors to Roosters HQ a week after I got out of rehab.

“He gave them the full tour and took us into his office and virtually told me that the Roosters are paying for my mental health.

“And Robbo, out of his own money, paid four weeks of my rent as I had just gotten into a place that week.”